


Gilded Cage

by IWannaBeYahtzee



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Brainwashing, Captivity, Chains, Collars, Dehumanization, Disturbing Themes, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Imprisonment, Insanity, M/M, Master/Pet, Mildly Dubious Consent, Possessive Behavior, Self-Hatred, Stockholm Syndrome, Unhealthy Relationships, good ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:28:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 16,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWannaBeYahtzee/pseuds/IWannaBeYahtzee
Summary: Hugo is depressed after losing Varian in the wake of the raid on the Eternal Library. Donella, sick of his moping, decides to take it upon herself to reunite the two.
Relationships: Hugo/Varian (Disney: Varian and the Seven Kingdoms)
Comments: 63
Kudos: 245





	1. Hello Little Hummingbird

**Author's Note:**

> Ok up front: THIS SHIT GETS DARK. Like really dark. I don't do angst very often but this is gonna get daaaaarrrk. It's gonna have an alternate happy ending cause writing this is fucking depressing me but otherwise? READ THE TAGS AND TURN BACK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ SOME HARDCORE ANGST. You've been warned.

Hugo laid back on a table, staring at the ceiling of the library. He was waiting for Donella and Cyrus to get back from their excursion. It had been about two weeks since they'd banished Ulla from the library, since it had become home base for them, since all of his dirty little secrets came out into the open. Hugo hadn't had a decent nights sleep since. He couldn't stop thinking about the way Varian had looked at him. The hurt in his eyes, the anger and the heartbreak, had struck the very core of his being. He had never allowed anyone close enough to him to effect him so drastically but Varian...he'd loved Varian. And the way he had looked at him before retreating with the others...it had done nothing less than devastate him.   
  
Maybe thats why he had shut himself off. Why he felt so little now. Except bored and numb.  
  
The sound of the heavy wooden door creaking open broke him out of his reverie. He sighed, picking himself off the table to go and greet them. If he didn't he'd certainly hear about it from Donella later. As he stepped down the stairs he could see them stepping into main foyer. Cyrus was carrying something but he couldn't see what it was, there was a big white cloth covering it.   
  
"Whatever that is, I hope it was worth three days on the road. God it's boring being stuck in this place by myself." He snarked as he reached the bottom of the stairs. That was a lie of course. It was just as boring with them here.   
  
Donella just smiled and wagged her finger chidingly. "You should be a little more grateful, Hugo. After all this whole trip was for you."  
  
Hugo raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?" he asked.  
  
Donellas smile widened. "Show him, Cyrus."  
  
The hulking man removed the cloth and Hugo's blood ran cold at what he saw. Varian lay curled inside an ornate golden cage that was much too small for him. He only just barely fit by tucking his knees in close to his chest and tucking his chin in to his chest. The blonde watched the boy tense as Cyrus roughly tossed the cage down at his feet. He raised his head just slightly to look up at him, his eyes full of fear, confusion and anger. He'd probably be cussing him out six ways to Sunday if it wasn't for the gag around his mouth and his hands were bound in front of him. He looked half dead, his cheeks were sallow and sunken, and he was thinner than ever. Hugo couldn't breathe. He never thought he'd see Varian again and yet here he was, dropped at his feet. 

  
"What the hell is this?!" Hugo demanded.  
  
Donella rolled her eyes. "I was tired of you sitting around here and moping all day. It was extremely irritating. So I thought you'd cheer up a bit if I brought your boyfriend back to you."   
  
So that was it. His little Hummingbird had been caught, caged and presented to him as a pet.   
  
"Donella that's...this is sick!" Hugo cried. "What the fuck made you think I would want this? The boy I loved caged up like some kind of animal?!"  
  
Donella cut her eyes at him and shooed Cyrus out of the room. "Excuse us Cyrus but I think me and Hugo need to have a little talk. Alone. Take the boy to the upstairs would you?"  
  
Cyrus nodded and picked up the cage. Varian let out a little whimper as he was roughly jostled around by the large hulking man. He was carried upstairs and out of sight. Hugo glared intensely at his boss. She looked at him like a disobedient child, shaking her head with an irritated sigh. "Your little boy toy wouldn't exactly have come of his own free will. I didn't have to do this y'know. I was just tired of your whining. I did you a kindness and I expect a little respect in return."  
  
"A kindness?! He looks half dead!" He argued.  
  
"He wasn't what you'd call cooperative. We had to take measures to get him to behave." She explained as if it was natural to starve a prisoner.  
  
Hugo turned away, frustratedly burying his hands in his hair.  
  
"I understand you know." She said. "I...miss her. Just like you miss him. Ulla and I weren't just partners. We were friends. I hated losing that. Losing what we had tore me up inside. I'm only trying to keep you from suffering in the same way I did." She took him by the shoulder and turned him around before placing something in his hand. "You'll see. In time he'll come to accept his life here and be content. Once that happens, you can use this."  
  
Hugo looked down at his hand to see a golden key.  
  
Donella winked at him. "Even songbirds have to be let out of their cages for a little _fun_ every once and a while." With that she turned away and left without another word.  
  
Hugo shuddered, disgust rising up his throat like bile at her words. He shook his head. His little hummingbird wasn't meant to be kept in a cage. He had to fix this. 


	2. Silent Songbird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow such a response already! I'm glad you all are so interested!

Later that night Hugo retreated to the upper levels with his portion of whatever Donella had decided they could have to eat that night. It didn't take him long to find Varian. They had all sort of claimed certain sections of the library as their own when they'd taken the place over so Hugo usually had most of the Upper Level to himself. Varian's crumpled form in the gleaming cage was nothing more than a shadow in the darkness. Hugo rushed over to it and knelt down beside it. The boy's piercing blue eyes shone in the darkness as they flitted up to meet his. They hardened as Hugo slipped his fingers between the bars and began undoing the knots around his wrists. It was difficult to do with only one hand but he managed it. He reached up to undo the gag but his wrist got caught between the bars. Varian twisted as best he could in the tight space of the cage before leaning forward to allow him to reach it better. Squeezing his other hand between the bars Hugo was able to pull the gag off. Varian immediately lifted his head up and spat in the blondes face.   
  
Hugo winced, pulling his hands out of the cage and wiping his face. "I...I deserve that. But I brought you something to eat. You must be hungry." he murmured, showing him the bread he'd brought. The sight of food had Varian's stomach growling loudly but he turned away stubbornly. Hugo sighed. "Varian please. You look like you haven't eaten for days. Please just eat something." He asked, holding it out to him beseechingly.  
  
Varian hesitated, refusing to look at him as his stomach continued to growl loudly. His hand shot out and grabbed the bread, tearing off large pieces and shoving them into his mouth. Had they really not fed him the whole time they'd been on the road? Hugo sighed. "I didn't ask them to do this. I just want you to know that." The bread quickly disappeared and Hugo offered him his canteen. Varian didn't hesitate this time, taking large gulps of the water. The blonde sat down beside the cage, pulling his knees up to his chest. "I know you must hate me and I wouldn't blame you but I never wanted this, I promise."  
  
There was quiet between them for a bit.

  
"...Please...please let me go." Varian said in a small voice, breaking the silence. "I won't tell anyone you kept me here, I promise. Just please...let me go!" he begged.  
  
He wanted to say 'of course.' He wanted to open the cage door right now and let him out of there. He looked so miserable in there and he hated seeing him like that but... Donella had been right. Hugo had missed Varian. Missed him terribly. He missed the way his little hummingbird used to smile and laugh and make everything feel okay. And although he didn't want to be with him this way, after what he'd done, was there any other way?  
  
No. This was wrong. He couldn't keep Varian here like some kind of pet. He just...he just had to wait a little. Until Donella let the whole thing drop. Then he could just say Varian escaped his cage and the whole awful business would be over with.   
  
"I'm going to. I swear. But I can't right now. Donella is watching me too closely. The moment she turns her back I'll let you out. I promise." Hugo assured.  
  
Varians eyes returned to the floor of the cage. He didn't respond.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'll come see you again." The blonde mumbled, getting to his feet.  
  
Varian turned away, curling onto his side in the confined space.  
  
Hugo didn't sleep that night.


	3. The Key in My Pocket

Hugo returned to the golden cage the next morning with a part of his breakfast. He couldn't help but think that this was eerily similar to what feeding a pet must feel like but he silenced those thoughts quickly. Varian was slumped over in the cage, his eyes closed, his cheek pressed uncomfortably against the bars. He stirred as Hugo approached, sitting up slightly and rubbing at the harsh red lines the bars had left on his cheek.   
  
"Did you sleep ok?"  
  
Varian shrugged.   
  
"I brought you some of my breakfast. Don't worry. Unlike _them_ I don't intend to starve you." Hugo assured handing him an apple.  
  
"How _benevolent_." Varian muttered sarcastically, taking a bite.  
  
Hugo stopped talking. What could he really say to that? They ate in silence for little bit.  
  
"Do you know where the key is?" Varian asked suddenly.  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"The key to the cage. You're going to need it to open it and let me go." Varian said flatly.  
  
"Oh uh right. I'm still trying to figure out a way to get it away from Donella." Hugo lied, the golden key laying heavy in his pocket. The dark haired boy sighed. "I hope Nuru and Yong are ok. They put up quite a fight when they saw me being taken. I didn't see all that happened but...it didn't sound good."   
  
Hugo hung his head. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"I'm sure you are." Varian said dismissively.  
  
Hugo opened his mouth to say something, anything that may somehow make this right but Donella's voice calling from the floor below interrupted him.  
  
"Hugo come down here! You can't be playing with your little birdie all day, we have work to do!"  
  
The blonde winced. He could already feel Varian's withering stare on him even before he turned to face him again. "I have to go. I'm sorry. I promise I'll be back soon."  
  
"No hurry." Varian hissed. 

  
  
  
  
'Work' mostly entailed fetching books for Donella so she could continue her research. It was extremely boring and tedious and honestly Hugo would rather be doing anything else.   
  
_Anything else like talking with Varian.  
  
_Even though things were understandably tense between them Hugo had to admit that it was good to even have him around. His very presence was calming to the blonde and the quiet moments they'd spent eating together were the most peace he'd had in weeks. Hugo put down the stack of books he'd been carrying and fished out the golden key. It had been burning a hole in his pocket since he'd lied about it's whereabouts. Why had he done that? He'd already told Varian why he couldn't immediately release him so why hadn't he just said he had the key?  
  
_'To buy more time.'_ His mind provided but he quickly shut that thought process down. He was just waiting for enough time to pass to convince Donella that he had accepted her twisted little game. Then when she let her guard down he'd have the opening he needed to free Varian. In the meantime he'd do whatever he could to make sure his little hummingbird's time in captivity wasn't so miserable.


	4. Padding the Cage

When Hugo returned that night he was carrying more than just dinner. His arms were full of soft magenta curtains, their rings still hanging on them.  
  
"What's all that for?" Varian asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically.  
  
"Found em hanging in the west wing. Their surprisingly soft." Hugo replied, as if that explained everything.  
  
"And you decided to rip them down becaaauuuseee...?" The dark haired boy questioned.  
  
Hugo knelt down beside the golden cage and held them out to him. "I figured they might make it a little more comfortable in there. Maybe help you sleep a bit easier?" If he couldn't free him yet, the least he could do was pad his little hummingbirds cage. Varian narrowed his eyes. He opened his mouth as if to say something then closed it. Then opened it and closed it again. He sighed and mumbled. "...Yeah. Sure. Thanks."   
  
The dark haired boy took hold of the end he was offered and together they slowly fed the fabric, bit by bit, into the cage. They had a bit of trouble maneuvering the rings past the bars but they managed it eventually. Varian padded the floor of his small prison the best he could, wrapping the rest around himself.   
  
"...I brought you some more bread."  
  
Varian nodded.  
  
"My canteen too, if you want some water."   
  
"Thank you." Varian replied stiffly.  
  
There were no more words exchanged between them as they ate but it was nice just to feel Varian with him. It didn't feel as tense as it had before.  
  
"Is it alright if I stay with you for a little while?" Hugo asked.  
  
Varian shrugged again. "...I guess."  
  
Hugo lay beside the cage and just enjoyed the silence, basking in the peace and calm that he felt around him. He listened to the slow and steady sound of his breathing, hearing him shuffling around as he settled down into a more comfortable position. The blonde fell asleep laying there beside him.   
  


  
  
  
The sun peaking in through the dust covered windows stung Hugo's eyes as he woke groggily that morning. He sat up, gripping at his sore back and wondering why he was on the floor. He was quickly reminded of the night before when he saw the cage beside him. Varian was still asleep. He looked a bit more comfortable in there than he had the night before, wrapped up in the curtains. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, almost content despite the bars that surrounded him. Hugo couldn't help but reach out, slip his fingers through the bars and caress his cheek. He stirred slightly, furrowing his eyebrows and letting out a little "Mmm." as he roused. His baby blue eyes blinked open sleepily, almost immediately focusing on him. Hugo was frozen for a moment, unsure whether to withdraw his hand or to continue the motion. After hesitating a moment Varian made the decision for him, pushing his hand away as his eyes dropped to the floor. Hugo's heart ached at the gesture. He wanted to open his mouth to say that he needed to be downstairs soon or he wouldn't hear the end of it from Donella but he couldn't force the words past the lump that had suddenly settled in his throat.

He left without a word.  
  
  



	5. Needing Some Space

Donella snapped her fingers in front of Hugo's face. "Focus Hugo! You've been staring off into space all day!"   
  
The blonde blinked, suddenly shaken out of his own head. He hadn't been able to focus, his mind constantly wandering to the way Varian had pushed him away that morning.  
  
"Get your head out of the clouds and pass me that vial." She ordered.  
  
"Sorry I just...have a lot on my mind." Hugo sighed, moving to pass her the vial. Donella shook her head, clucking her tongue. "It's the little songbird giving you trouble isn't it?"   
  
Hugo furrowed his brow. "Don't call him that." he scowled, hoisting himself up onto the table.   
  
"I brought you your little boy toy back so you wouldn't be constantly distracted sulking over him. Now it seems like you're more distracted and more unhappy than ever." Donella remarked, leaning over her work.  
  
"It's not that simple!" Hugo argued.  
  
"Well maybe if your little songbird is unhappy and you're unhappy, you should spend a little less time together? Maybe a little space would be good for you." She suggested airily. "Maybe it'll...put a few things in perspective."  
  
Hugo turned the thought over in his mind for a bit. She had a point. Why torture himself when he was just making them both miserable by forcing them to spend time together? Maybe some time to think would do them both good.   
  
Hugo stiffened as he felt Donellas hand settle on his shoulder. A rare gesture of camaraderie. Almost kindness? "You'll see. Everything will work out just fine." She said, before quickly returning to her work.  
  


After thinking on it more, Hugo decided to take Donella's advice. He brought Varian his food that night and left without saying word. The dark haired boy seemed a bit confused by how quickly he left and he wanted so badly to stay but if it wasn't doing them any good what was the point? Hugo slept terribly that night, plagued by frenzied nightmares of beautiful golden bars closing in around Varian.  
  
For the next few days Hugo would only stay long enough to make sure that Varian ate and drank. Though it pained him to see so little of his hummingbird he forced himself to leave, to give him space. Varian continued to look surprised and a little worried when he would leave but he still remained silent. Though the blonde was more focused on his tasks during the day he wasn't any less despondent. Donella still seemed pleased with the change, telling him to give it time.  
  
After about a week of this, it seemed like it was getting to Varian too. Before his eyes had been tired but nevertheless full of fire and rebellion. But now? They looked sad and distressed, like those of an abandoned puppy. Hugo could hardly stand to see him like this. He wanted to say something, to comfort him but clearly Varian didn't want to talk to him right? Otherwise he would've said something or stopped him from leaving. This would be good for them, he was sure of it. They just needed some space. He began to stand up to leave.   
  
"Wait!" Varian called out, reaching out to grab his hand through the bars. "...Stay...please." He was practically begging, gripping his wrist tightly. When Hugo saw the sorrow and desperation in his eyes he immediately recognized his mistake. His little hummingbird was afraid. Afraid that because he wouldn't sing like a good little songbird that his master was getting bored with his pet, that he didn't want him anymore.   
  
Hugo returned to his side immediately. "I'm sorry I- I thought that-! I was just trying to-! ...O-of course, I'll stay." He murmured, reaching out to cup his cheek. Varian didn't pull away this time. 


	6. Being a Good Pet

Varian hadn't thought it would bother him so much when Hugo stopped staying to eat with him. The boy had lied to him and his friends, betrayed them and it was because of him that he was in this tiny little cage, and treated like some kind of pet. So when Hugo had reached out and touched him so tenderly, so sweetly, like there really was love behind the action, Varian just didn't know how to take it. He thought he'd been quite justified in pushing him away in that moment. Had that been so wrong? That simple action? The blonde had looked devastated by his rejection and then after that everything changed.   
  
Hugo stopped even attempting to talk to him. He never tried to touch him again. He just provided food and water and then left without a word. Varian was bewildered. It was insulting almost. It made him feel more like an animal than ever, only he'd never treated Ruddiger this way. As an obligation that needed to be maintained and nothing more.   
  
As the days passed and the neglect continued, indignant anger turned to worry and panic. What had he done wrong? Had he really upset Hugo that much just by pushing his hand away? Was he angry with him? Or was he just bored? The idea shot a spike of hurt through his chest but it was quickly overpowered by fear. He was brought here to make Hugo happy. To be his happy little songbird and cheer him up so that he could do whatever Donella required of him. If he couldn't do that then what use was there to keeping him around?! And through all of the dread and anxiety Varian hated to admit that... he missed the company. He saw no one, spoke to no one, even just having Hugo quietly eating beside him gave him some small reassurance. But now? He was utterly and completely alone.  
  
After a week he couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take the worry and the uncertainty. If he was to be a pet then...he'd better be a good one. "Wait!" he cried, grasping tightly onto the blondes wrist as he moved to stand. "...Stay...please."   
  
The look that came over Hugo's face, the way he practically scrambled to get by his side again, his soft assurance and his gentle touch filled Varian with a hope he hadn't felt in what seemed like ages. He leaned into Hugo's palm and felt like he could breathe for the first time in days.  



	7. A Moments Rest

After that Hugo did his best to spend every free moment he had at Varians side. They still didn't talk much but things were a little more comfortable between them. He didn't shy away when he touched him, didn't avoid his eyes, and their conversations, while sparse, were less tense then they were before. Varian even seemed like he was somewhat happy to see him when he visited.   
  
"What is it exactly that Donella has you doing?" He asked him once.  
  
"I'm not exactly sure. Mostly I'm just helping her continue your mothers research but I've caught glimpses of her notes, I can't make sense of them anymore." Hugo replied, troubled.  
  
Varians eyebrows furrowed, his expression a combination of confusion and concern.  
  
"So I was thinking," Hugo said, changing the subject. "you must be pretty bored in here all day. Maybe I could start bringing you books? Y'know to give you something to do."  
  
Varian worried his bottom lip, thinking for a minute. "...That'd be nice...How much longer do you think I'll be in here? You said you were waiting for Donella to get off your back, right?"  
  
Hugo felt himself go cold for a reason he couldn't explain. Donella _had_ seemed content to drop the subject for now, seeing his improved mood and performance on the job. Logically now would be the perfect moment to sneak Varian out. But reluctance clung to his chest like some kind of thick tar, weighing him down, settling unpleasantly in his stomach and making him feel sick. Things were getting better between them. Varian was actually talking to him again. The idea of going back to the hollow, empty existence he had without his little hummingbird in his life scared him more than anything else had.   
  
"...It won't be long now. She's burying herself deeper and deeper into her work. Soon she'll be too distracted to worry about what we're doing and we'll have our opening." Hugo assured.  
  
He...he just needed more time. Just a little more time.  
  
Varian sighed, dejectedly. "I hope your right about that."  
  
"Don't worry. Just be patient for a little longer. I'll get you out of here, I promi-"  
  
"Don't." Varian cut him off, harshly. "Don't promise me anything. Don't give me your word when I've seen firsthand that you can't keep it. Just..." He paused before continuing in a quieter voice. "Don't ask me to trust you until you've earned it. Until I'm not in a cage anymore."   
  
Hugo deflated, unable to say anything in his defense. Deep down he knew. The truth was that Varian _shouldn't_ trust him. That deep down, he didn't want to let him go. Despite how horrid and cowardly it was of him to even think it a part of him wanted to keep Varian, to stay with him forever and ever. A part of him didn't mind the thought of visiting his little hummingbirds cage every day, of bringing him delicious treats to eat and lovely little presents to keep him entertained, of pampering and adoring his beautiful little songbird until he grew to love him and only him.   
  
"...I'll...bring you something to read." Hugo murmured after a long silence, quickly stepping away, hoping to maintain the fragile armistice they had.  
  
  
  
  
So Hugo began sneaking Varian books to help the hours when the blonde was busy pass more easily. Unsurprisingly Varian devoured book after book extraordinarily quickly. He was already a voracious reader when Hugo had met him and now he had literally nothing else to do. Coming back from his daily chores one day he found Varian had already completed the first book he'd brought him that morning and was starting on the second. The blonde chuckled to himself as he sat down next to him. "I've never seen anyone go through books as quickly as you. What're you on now?" He asked.  
  
Varian turned the cover towards him so he could see the title in gold lettering 'Yvain, the Knight of the Lion'. Hugo smiled. "I thought you'd like that one. How is it so far?"   
  
"It's lovely." Varian replied, softly, lifting his eyes from the page. "You look tired." He commented.  
  
"Yeah. Donella is really running me ragged. Whatever she's trying to do she isn't succeeding and I think she's getting frustrated." Hugo sighed, pushing his bangs out of his eyes.  
  
Varian patted the ground in front of his cage. "C'mere. Let me read to you for a little bit."  
  
The blonde perked up. "Really?"  
  
Varian just nodded, returning his gaze to the book. Hugo laid down in front of the cage, crossing his arms underneath his head. Varian flipped back to the beginning and waited until he was comfortable before he began. "Arthur, the good King of Britain, whose prowess teaches us that we, too, should be brave and courteous, held a rich and royal court upon that precious feast-day which is always known by the name of Pentecost. The court was at Carduel in Wales."  
  
"Whats Pentecost?"  
  
"I don't know. A date apparently." Varian replied. "Now don't interrupt. When the meal was finished, the knights betook themselves whither they were summoned by the ladies, damsels, and maidens. Some told stories; others spoke of love, of the trials and sorrows, as well as of the great blessings, which often fall to the members of its order, which was rich and flourishing in those days of old."  
  
"Where do you think Wales is?"  
  
Varian sighed irritably. "I don't know. Probably somewhere far away from here. Now do you want me to read this or not?"   
  
"Sorry." Hugo apologized.  
  
Varian continued. "But now its followers are few, having deserted it almost to a man, so that love is much abased. For lovers used to deserve to be considered courteous, brave, generous, and honourable." The boy paused for a moment as if considering this sentence before resuming, his tone much more slow and deliberate. "But now love is a laughing-stock, for those who have no intelligence of it assert that they love, and in that they lie. Thus they utter a mockery and lie by boasting where they have no right."  
  
Varian fell silent once again.  
  
"...You ok?" Hugo asked.  
  
Varian shook his head, as if snapping himself out of deep thought. "Yeah I'm fine I just...spaced out for a second there." He murmured. "L-lets read some more huh?" He gave a small smile and continued to read aloud. Hugo closed his eyes and let his hummingbirds sweet voice wash over his ears, allowing himself to become lost in his words, to escape to another reality for a little while.


	8. Wanna Talk About It?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I've been getting comments about this so I thought I should address it. Nuru and Yong aren't dead guys! I'm not that cruel! There was just a big scuffle trying to keep Varian from being taken.

Soon enough this became a common pastime for them. Varian would read to Hugo whenever he visited. He set 'Yvain, The Knight of the Lion' aside, only ever reading it with the blonde. Of course this made him take the book a lot more slowly but Hugo brought him plenty of others to compensate. It was a comforting little ritual for both of them. They both had something to look forward to at the end of each day, a way of escaping their less than ideal situations and simply enjoying a good book and each others company.  
  
" "By my head," cries my lord Yvain," Varian narrated. " "you are my own cousin-german, and we ought to love each other well. But I must consider you as mad to-"  
  
"The hell is a cousin-german?" Hugo chuckled, sprawled out in front of the cage as usual.   
  
Varian rolled his eyes. "How should I know? Just because I read a lot doesn't mean I know everything."   
  
"Really? The way you talk sometimes ya could've fooled me."   
  
Closing the book on his thumb, Varian slipped it through the bars and bonked Hugo on the head.  
  
"OW! Hey!" Hugo yelped, putting a hand to his forehead.  
  
"Oh please, I'm letting you off easy. Now shall we continue?" He smirked, reopening the book. "But I must consider you as mad to have concealed this from me so long. If I call you mad, I beg you not to be incensed. For if I can, and if I obtain the leave, I shall go to avenge your shame." "It is evident that we have dined," says Kay, with his ever-ready speech; "there are more words in a pot full of wine than in a whole barrel of beer"  
  
"Thats an odd expression."  
  
Varian sighed and closed the book again. "Do you actually want to read this?"  
  
"Of course I do." The blonde replied.  
  
"Then why do you keep interrupting?" He asked, annoyed.  
  
Hugo sat up on his elbows. "I dunno. Maybe I'd just...rather talk to you?"  
  
Varian frowned, putting the book aside. "Ok. What would you like to talk about? Would you like to talk about how utterly fucked up this situation is? How our lives are falling apart around us? How you turned your back on the people who loved and cared about you to go work for the person who took my mother from me?! You want to talk about...any of that?!" Varian cried.  
  
Hugo sighed. No matter how typical and routine their interactions could be neither of them could hide from the fact that there was so much broken between them and little hope that it would ever be fixed. He sat up and looked him in the eyes. "Just that...I missed you. And...I know that it isn't in the best circumstances but...I'm really glad to see you again." He murmured.  
  
Varian pressed his lips together angrily. There was so much he wanted to say. He'd thought about what he'd say to Hugo ever since their retreat from the library. He'd thought about confronting him, tearing him down piece by piece and making him feel just as ashamed and humiliated as he had when his betrayal was revealed to them. But now, with their fragile armistice on the line, he just didn't have the energy anymore. If he let out his frustrations on him these quiet evenings went away, and Varian didn't want that.  
  
"...I missed you too, you pompous dickhead." He admitted, feeling that old familiar ache in his heart. "Even if you did kinda ruin everything." He picked up the book again. "Look this really isn't the conversation I'd like to be having right now so how about we just try and finish this chapter?"   
  
Hugo nodded and laid back down as Varian resumed reading aloud. They didn't talk for the rest of the evening.   
  



	9. The Question of Trust

Varian had been suspicious from the very beginning.   
  
No matter how strangely domestic things could feel at times between him and Hugo he never let his guard down, not once. He never let himself forget that he was in danger. That Hugo was an ally here, but not a friend. That he couldn't let his confused feelings for the boy make him forget that. Hugo had said he didn't have the key but someone here had to. Someone was cleaning his cage and dumping the waste bucket when he fell asleep. He doubted it was Donella doing that but logically (and according to Hugo) she would be the only one with access to the key. He supposed it could be Cyrus but Hugo was the only one who'd shown any interest in taking care of him. This combined with the blondes increasingly erratic and possessive behavior all pointed to a single conclusion that nonetheless Varian was reluctant to accept.   
  
He didn't want to believe that the blonde had lied. In part because he was his only hope for escape and that hope was the only thing that was keeping him sane through all of this. But also because he desperately wanted to believe that a part of Hugo still truly cared for him. That it hadn't all just been a lie to manipulate him into giving him what he wanted. Hugo spoke and acted in much the same way he had before the library. Back then Varian had seen only affection in his gaze, heard only sweetness in his words, had felt safety and warmth in his touches. Now he couldn't be sure moment to moment if Hugo's eyes held adoration or desperation. If his words were truly those of love and comfort or lies intended to manipulate him. If the fleeting touches through the bars held the same protection or the desire to possess him. The uncertainty plagued his waking hours and was infecting his nightmares.  
  
  
  
Varian was beginning to suspect something, Hugo could tell. The boy wasn't stupid and the more time passed, the more he lied, the longer he kept up this facade, the harder it was going to be to let him go. Still he continued to put it off, certain that they could at least separate on good terms if he just gave it a little more time. But he couldn't do that if he couldn't regain Varian's trust and despite his best efforts it seemed like he trusted him less by the day.  
  
Varian was clearly getting impatient, not so subtly plying him with questions like "Don't you think she's distracted enough by now?" and "It shouldn't be too long now, right?".   
  
Hugo never knew what to say to him. He would smile and nod and agree but the very thought turned his blood to ice. His dreams were haunted by images of the cage lying empty and abandoned, of days, months, years stretching by in interminable isolation and loneliness. Donella was too obsessed with her research to concern herself with anything else and Cyrus didn't speak. Varian was the one ray of sunshine he had left in his life and he wasn't ready to lose him.  
  



	10. Throw Away the Key

"Thus my lord Yvain was caught, very much concerned and discomfited as he finds himself shut in this hallway, which was all studded with gilded nails, and whose walls were cunningly decorated with precious paints. But about nothing was he so worried as not to know what had become of the knight. While he was in this narrow place, he heard open the door of a little adjoining room, and there came forth alone a fair and charming maiden who closed the door again after her."  
  
The sounds of Varian reading and the soft turning of pages were the only ones that broke the stillness of the quiet afternoon. Hugo lay in his normal spot in front of the cage. They were a good ways into the book now. Hugo had a vague idea of what was going on but he was concentrating more on the sound of Varians voice than the words he was actually saying. He was focused intently on the pages, his eyebrows furrowed cutely, his expression serious. The book lay supported on his knees as he leaned over it, causing his fringe to fall into his face. Hugo watched him push it aside time and time again only for it to fall back into his eyes. It was so cute. He'd always loved Varians hair, it was one of the most beautiful parts about him. He seemed to be ignoring it now, not bothering to push it back into place. Hugo found himself lifting a hand and twirling Varians fringe around his finger.   
  
Varian gasped and flinched away as if Hugo had struck him. He bit his lip, his teeth leaving deep marks in his skin. "Hugo...I can't do this anymore."  
  
Hugo's smile melted away, replaced with confusion. "Wh-What do you mean? I was just messing with your hair. I didn't mean-"  
  
"I can't keep pretending that things are like they used to be! I can't keep deluding myself into thinking that if we just don't talk about all the fucked up shit that happened then that'll magically make things better!" Varian shouted.  
  
"I never suggested we do any of that!" Hugo countered. "I was just trying to find a way to move forward! I love you Varian, and I want to earn your trust ba-"   
  
"You don't love me."   
  
"What?" Hugo sat bolt upright in shock.  
  
"You don't have to keep pretending anymore. So just please stop messing with me." Varian snapped, defensively.  
  
"Varian I'm not pretending! I never was!" The blonde cried.  
  
"Bullshit!" Varian yelled, his eyes filling with tears. "You...you manipulated me to get what you wanted and that was all! You lied to me and made me feel like I could trust you and then you turned your back on me! You never loved me! How could you have?!"   
  
Hugo stopped and took a deep breath. "Varian, listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. I did some awful things. But I never lied when I said I loved you."  
  
"Then how could you do this to me!? To Nuru and Yong!? They're your friends and I was your..." Varian cut himself off as if he didn't even want to say it anymore. "How could you betray us and then say you love me!?"  
  
Hugo wasn't sure how to answer him at first. How could he explain it to him and have it make sense? How could he convey to him that if he had a chance to go back and change what had happened he would do it in a heartbeat? That he would give anything, do anything, to have back what they had.  
  
"...I thought Donella was my friend too." He began softly. "I had nothing before I met her. I was just some nobody hooligan kid scraping by on the streets. She took me in, gave me work to do, gave me a purpose. All of a sudden I wasn't just scraping by, I actually had some coin in my pocket. I could afford to eat more than once every three days. I was...happy. At least I thought I was." The blonde turned his chin up, forcing himself to meet his eyes. "Until I met you. And I realized how...empty I was inside. You and the others... the time I spent with you were the happiest moments of my life." Hugo shook his head, blinking back tears. "And I was too much of a coward to tell you."  
  
Varians eyes softened suddenly. He reached out to him through the bars of the cage, the tips of his fingers lightly touching the blonde's. "...Hugo."  
  
"I'm being a coward right now!" He sobbed, unable to bear this horrible secret anymore. "Cause I know that it's wrong to keep you here like this! Locking you up in that tiny cage but..." Hugo clasped Varians hand deathly tight. "The truth is I'm too scared to let you go. I can't stand the thought of never seeing you again!" He admitted, pulling the golden key from his pocket.  
  
Varians eyes widened, flashing through conflicting emotions, from anger to sadness to despair to hope. "The key. You've had it the whole time?! I-!" Varian looked ready to scream but he stopped himself, clutching tightly at the bars of the cage. "Hugo, please! Please just let me out! We can still make this right! I...I still love you!"  
  
Hugo wanted so badly to believe him but there was no way he could ever forgive him for what he did. No way he could still love him. The moment he was free he'd run for his life and Hugo couldn't even blame him. "You don't have to lie to me, Varian. I don't blame you for hating me after what I did. I'm sorry but I'm selfish. I always have been. And I just can't let you leave my life forever." He murmured sadly, placing the key back in his pocket.   
  
The tears that brimmed the boys eyes began to pour down his cheeks as he shook the bars violently. "Hugo let me out! Please! Let me the fuck out of here! Let me out!" He screamed and wailed, throwing himself against the bars. "Let me out, let me out, let me out!" His violent thrashing nearly toppled the cage over. "Varian please stop that. You'll hurt yourself!" Hugo pleaded. "Get me out of here!" The boy shrieked, pounding his fists on the bars. "I can't stand another minute in here! Let me out, let me out!" The blonde took in a shaky breath and shook his head. Varian had always been intense with his emotions and Hugo could see there would be no getting through to him in this state. 'The best thing to do now would be to give him time to calm down' he thought, as he started to leave.  
  
"Hugo please! Hugo come back!" Varian sobbed after him. "Hugo please let me out! Please! I'm sorry! I'll be good! I promise I'll be good!"


	11. A Ballad of Screams

Varian continued to scream long into the night. He screamed and screamed, shifting between begging and crying and furious demands and curses. There were few places in the library you could go to escape from it. It echoed off the high ceilings, resonating throughout the entire building. The horror, despair and rage of the boys voice haunted almost every room like a vengeful ghost, an outraged songbird, belting a furious ballad to the heavens.

It rang in Hugo's ears, twisting his guts and chilling him to the bone as he prayed for sleep to take him and end the torment. He had never heard Varian so agonized, so distressed. Doubt began to flood his mind, fighting with the resolution he had felt earlier. He didn't get the chance to sort these thoughts out, however.

Donella and Cyrus were not happy about their sleep being interrupted but Hugo couldn't do much to stop it. Attempting to intervene would only make his panicking worse, risking harm to both Varian and himself. It all quickly devolved into a heated argument, all the while Varian continued to wail in the background. 

"I thought you had sorted things out with your little bird, Hugo! This interminable shrieking clearly tells me I was mistaken!" She sneered.

"I'm working on it ok?! You were the one who said it'd take some adjusting!" Hugo argued.

"This was not what I had in mind!" Donella snapped. "If you can't placate him then you could at least cover that wailing mouth with something!"

"I'm not gagging him! I didn't even want this to begin with! You were the one who forced it on me!" Hugo exclaimed.

Donellas eyes lit up with fury. "Well if you can't control your little pet, then maybe I should just dispose of him." She threatened, moving to stride past him.

Hugo blocked her path. "If he goes, then I go with him!" He declared.

Donella backed off fairly quickly after that and Hugo was left alone to listen to Varians cries. As the night went on they slowly grew more faint, guttural and scratchy. His screams continued to crack and fracture becoming softer and softer until finally...they stopped.

The library was once again eerily silent. Hugo didn't know whether to be relieved or even more disturbed but either way he knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep that night.


	12. Songbird Silenced

The morning broke with little fanfare. Hugo watched the sun creeping over the shelves, dreading the thought of what it would mean when it rose. The thought of confronting Varian in whatever state his frenzied rage had left him in had Hugo feeling ill. It was a cold, queasy feeling that weighed heavy in his gut and turned his legs to lead. Hugo swallowed down the unease creeping its way up his throat and pulled himself to his feet. Putting it off wouldn't do any good. He needed to face this.   
  
Varian was pressed against the back of the cage, the curtains were torn up and scattered around, his eyes were distant and cold and so very, very angry. His bitter gaze fell on the blonde as he approached. He opened his mouth but all that came out was rasping breaths. It was such a pitiful sight. As if some vengeful trickster had stolen the voice of a Swallow. A songbird without a song.   
  
"You've really hurt your throat huh?" Hugo murmured, keeping his distance from the cage.   
  
Varian grit his teeth, glaring at him. He continued to try to yell at him, only producing soft croaks and wheezes.  
  
"Varian! Please stop trying to talk." Hugo cried, reaching for his canteen. "You're just hurting yourself." He held the water out to him.  
  
The dark haired boy knocked the canteen out of his hand, sending it flying across the floor. Hugo scowled indignantly. "Varian stop it!" he insisted, stomping off to retrieve it. "I'm trying to help you! You're just exacerbating the damage!"   
  
The blonde frustratedly shoved the canteen in the boys face. "Drink. Now." He ordered. Varian shot him a withering glare before snatching the canteen out of his hand and intentionally draining it. Hugo rolled his eyes. Honestly he understood Varian was upset with him but the boy was acting so childish. Now that he was closer however he could see quite a few bruises speckling his tanned skin, especially around his wrists. Hugo's irritation evaporated like morning dew. "Oh Varian. What did you do to yourself?" He sighed.   
  
Varian didn't answer of course. Instead he threw the canteen back at him snappishly.   
  
"I know you're mad at me. I don't blame you. But don't hurt yourself because you want to hurt me." Hugo entreated. "I want you to get better. I just want my little hummingbird to sing again."  
  
Varian looked at him as if he'd gone mad. The blonde didn't understand why. Because he didn't want him to impede his own healing? Hugo shook his head. "I can see you need more time. I'm gonna see if I can alchemize something that'll help your throat." He stated, leaving the boy alone once again.   



	13. Broken Wing

The relatively few herbs that Hugo was able to get his hands on combined with the lack of materials due to Donella hogging them all for her research, meant that even simple alchemy was difficult at the library. Progress was irritatingly slow on the formula and Donellas constant interruptions didn't help.   
  
"You didn't report for work today. Again." She grimaced, approaching Hugo's crude work station.  
  
Hugo's eyes narrowed, not looking away from his work. "I told you I was busy."  
  
"Oh I didn't realize it was that simple!" Donella sneered sarcastically. "That you could steal _my_ tools for your own personal work but it's perfectly ok because you're _busy_."  
  
"You don't really need me anyway! All I do is just cart you books and hand you stuff, I'm sure you can handle that on your own. Besides it's important. Varian's not well." Hugo protested.   
  
"You forget that I'm your _boss_ , Hugo." She huffed.  
  
"I haven't forgotten that. You told me to take care of him, I'm only following your orders. Maybe if I had real materials instead of having to scrounge for barely usable herbs this wouldn't be going so slowly." He retaliated.  
  
Donella groaned and put her fingers to her temple. She appeared to be counting to ten. "I swear, some days you're more trouble than your worth." She muttered as she turned to leave. "...I'll see about finding you something more suitable. If it'll get rid of this attitude of yours."  
  
  
Varian remembered having strep throat when he was young. Eating and drinking was pure hell and every time he swallowed it felt like broken glass sliding down his throat. This was like that only so much worse. At least back then he had his dad to care for him. At least back then he was home and warm and safe with a person that really loved him. At least back then he could still talk.   
  
No matter how hard he tried he couldn't produce anything more than rasping breaths, and he couldn't try too hard because that only made the pain worse. It made him feel somehow even more helpless. Sure before he had been stuck in a cage, unable to do anything to escape, but at least he'd had the power to make his distaste with his situation known. Now he couldn't even protest. The small bit of agency that he'd had left had been wrenched away from him. It made him feel impossibly weak and defenseless and more afraid than ever. He was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of Hugo's footsteps approaching. He hadn't been seeing a lot of the blonde lately and his mood was becoming more and more unpredictable. One moment he'd be making pleasant small talk, the next he'd be ranting about his frustrations with this formula he kept talking about and then he'd go on to monologue about how beautiful Varian was, everything he loved about him, how he wished he could make him understand the depths of his feelings, how Varian did things to him that no one had ever done before. Varian was beginning to think the blonde was losing his mind.   
  
"Hey Varian!" He greeted cheerfully. He seemed to be in a good mood today. "I've got good news! I think I finally cracked it!" He announced, pulling a vial full of transparent green liquid out of his pocket. "It wasn't easy but I think this should help your throat heal exponentially faster. You've been drinking plenty of water right?"   
  
Hugo had started leaving his canteen with him every morning. He got upset if Varian didn't drink enough so the boy made sure to drink at least half of it before he came to visit. Varian handed him the canteen with a nod. Hugo unscrewed the cap and peered inside. He nodded, satisfied. "Good. We should keep that up. But for now, try this. It should help." He instructed, holding out the vial.   
  
Varian didn't argue. He wanted to be rid of this pain and being defiant for the sake of it wouldn't prove anything, it would just worsen his discomfort. He obediently took the vial, uncorked it and drank down the contents. It tasted vile but the effects were almost immediate. A cool, numbing sensation spreading quickly down his throat that made him nearly sigh with relief.  
  
"...So? Does it work? How do you feel?" Hugo asked, hopefully.  
  
Varian opened his mouth but Hugo held up a hand. "Ah ah! Don't try to talk yet. Just...ok. Tap once for no effect, twice for slight affect, three times for full effect."  
  
Varian rolled his eyes. He rapped on the bars with his knuckles three times.   
  
"Great! That's perfect! I'll definitely be making more of this then. And be sure to keep drinking lots of water." Hugo stated, pushing up his glasses and looking all scholarly. Since when was he a doctor? Varian wanted to snipe this bitterly at him but he still couldn't speak.  
  
"Hey." Hugo murmured. "I'm sorry I haven't really been around these last couple days. I've just been so busy trying to get the formula right and when I'm not doing that Donella won't get off my ass..." he reached out a hand a caressed Varians cheek through the bars. He flinched but didn't pull away, determined to keep him in this good mood. "I've just missed you, you know? I've been so worried about my little hummingbird getting well."  
  
He keeps calling him that. It _used_ to be an affectionate little nickname. Hugo had said that Varian was small and chatty and always buzzing around so of course he'd be a hummingbird. And while it initially made him roll his eyes he had come to love the pet name. Now it just seemed like another form of ownership. _My_ little hummingbird. _Mine_. Hugo's little pet bird that he kept, well fed and well groomed, in a sparkling cage that he could do with as he wished.  
  
"You're so beautiful you know that?" Hugo sighed, turning Varians chin up towards him. Yes. He knew. Hugo would tell him in great detail at the drop of a hat. "God I could spend hours just looking at you. I could sit here for eternity looking into your eyes and never even notice a moment had passed."  
  
The blonde brushed his thumb over his cheek and Varian was ashamed to feel them warming at the praise. "But then again, theres so much more I love about you then just your pretty face. I love your voice, and your mind. So please get better soon so we can talk again." he whispered.  
  
Okay. Varian had been wrong before. He was recovering under the care of someone who truly loves him. But that wasn't nearly as comforting as it should've been.   
  



	14. Not Much for Poetry

Hugo's visits became more and more frequent as he monitored Varians recovery. Once he'd cracked it the first time the formula was easy to replicate and the perscription was simple: A dose twice a day along with plenty of water and rest. Varians voice was slowly coming back to him but it was still croaky and unstable.  
The blonde had begun to notice that Varian wasn't reading the books he brought him anymore. He always brought two or three with him whenever he visited but they were piling up beside the boys cage, untouched. This concerned him. He didn't want his little hummingbird to be bored. 

"I have a surprise for you, Varian!" Hugo chirped, kneeling down beside him. Varian raised his uninterested gaze to his.

"I know you've been down lately, especially with losing your voice. So I brought you something to cheer you up." He grinned, producing 'Yvain the Knight of the Lion' from behind his back. Varian sighed through his nose, looking at him exasperatedly. "I know it's been a while since we've been able to read together, so I thought I'd read to you for a change!" He smiled, flipping through the pages attempting to find where they'd left off. Varians shoulders slumped in resignation. He leaned against the bars, focusing his eyes elsewhere.

"Now I don't quite remember what page we were on so stop me if I'm on the wrong track." Hugo explained, settling on a passage that sounded right. " 'I cannot tell you more just now, for I dare no longer tarry here. But I may thank God for giving me the chance and the opportunity to do some service to please you, as I yearned to do." 

Varian shook his head.

"Hmph." Hugo muttered. He flipped ahead a bit and tried again. " She has secured greater revenge than she could ever have done unless she had been aided by Love, who attacks him so gently that he wounds his heart through his eyes. And this wound is more enduring than any inflicted by lance or sword. A sword-blow is cured and healed at once as soon as a doctor attends to it, but the wound of love is worst when it is nearest to its physician."

Varian shook his head again, resting his chin in his hand.

"Huh. Am I getting close at least?" The blonde asked. 

Varian shrugged, clearly uninterested. Hugo was caught between irritation and concern. Irritation because Varian clearly didn't appreciate his attempts to cheer him up and concern because he'd rarely seen his little hummingbird so...apathetic. The fire in his eyes was sputtering and struggling to stay alive. Hugo continued scanning the pages until his eyes lit up.

"Here we go! I'm sure this is where we were." Hugo exclaimed, beginning to read aloud. 

"Whoever does not welcome Love gladly, when he comes to him, commits treason and a felony. I admit (and let whosoever will, heed what I say) that such an one deserves no happiness or joy. But if I lose, it will not be for such a reason; rather will I love my enemy. For I ought not to feel any hate for her unless I wish to betray Love. I must love in accordance with Love's desire. And ought she to regard me as a friend? Yes, surely, since it is she whom I love. And I call her my enemy, for she hates me, though with good reason, for I killed the object of her love. So, then, am I her enemy? Surely no, but her true friend, for I never so loved any one before. I grieve for her fair tresses, surpassing gold in their radiance; I feel the pangs of anguish and torment when I see her tear and cut them, nor can her tears e'er be dried which I see falling from her eyes; by all these things I am distressed. Although they are full of ceaseless, ever-flowing tears, yet never were there such lovely eyes."

  
Hugo took a moment to allow this passage to sink in. The blonde had never had any great love for prose. He had never been formally schooled, he'd learned how to read and write by studying prayer books he'd stolen from his local church and copying the verses as best he could. After a while he could recite the psalms within by heart but he could never truly appreciate their meaning. It wasn't that he didn't understand them, he just didn't feel anything when he read the words. Yet now he sat utterly dumbfounded by how deeply this passage struck him. How was it that an author years removed from him, perhaps not even living anymore, could capture his feelings so accurately?

Despite the circumstances of their first meeting Varian had welcomed Hugo into the group with open arms. In him, he saw himself, a young man that had done wrong and who just needed a chance to prove himself and rise above his past actions. It took awhile but eventually Nuru and Yong had accepted him as one of their own. For the first time in his life he had friends. Real friends. Not like the few allies he'd made on the streets who'd stab you as soon as look at you. Not like Donella and her gang who were loyal but cold and unloving. People who actually cared about him.

And what had he done for them in return? He'd lied to them, sold them out and left them behind in the wreckage of their wasted effort. He'd allowed Donella to cage the boy he loved and when given the opportunity to free him he kept him in that cage. 

He did not welcome love gladly and as such deserved no happiness or joy.

Varian saw him as his enemy. He had become that to him the moment his subterfuge had been revealed. 

Varian hated him and with good reason, for he _had_ killed the object of his love. The Hugo that Varian had loved wasn't real. He was a better person. He was kinder, nobler, selfless. And in an instant he'd been slain right before Varians eyes the moment Donella had stepped to his side. The man he was left with now was poor imiation of the one he'd loved. 

But was he Varian's enemy? No, but his true friend. For he'd never so loved anyone before. No matter how many bitter lies had fallen from his lips as long as he was by his side it remained the truth that he loved him. Truly and deeply. He had tainted that love with his vile actions but perhaps there still remained hope he could reach him.

He grieved for him in his agony, his anguish and torment tore at his heart and yet he couldn't help but love him all the more. He was his little hummingbird, beautiful in his captivity, the golden bars could not contain his loveliness. If he was more gifted with words instead of chemistry he might have written a book of his own about his lovely songbird. 

" _Hugo?_ " 

Varians unsteady voice shook him out of his reviere. The boys face was troubled and a bit uneasy. He realized he must have been staring down at the book not saying anything for some time. "O-Oh! Sorry hummingbird! I guess I let my mind wander a little too far away from me! Ha ha!" The blonde chuckled, nervously. "Don't mind me. I was just...thinking! You know how stuff can stick in your head sometimes!" He explained.

Varian raised an eyebrow at him but nodded.

"...Sooo is that close to where we left off?"

Varian nodded, returning his chin to his hand.

Hugo tucked the passage carefully in the back of his mind and continued reading.


	15. A Little Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where we get into the noncon/ dubious consent. BE WARNED!

Varian and Hugo were no strangers to sex. They had been intimate several times during their relationship and the blonde had had his fair share of partners in the past. But Varian was different from all of those Hugo had been with before.   
  
Varian hadn't wanted anything from him, he was concerned with Hugo's pleasure as well as his own and there was genuine emotion behind his touch. For the first time, sex was more than just a means to end or a meaningless roll in the hay. There was genuine intimacy behind it.  
  
With Varian it was more than just sex. It was making love. A pure expression of affection and adoration between them.  
  
Hugo had been turning the passage he'd read over and over in his head, trying to understand how he could show Varian that even if his actions had put them at odds with each other he was not his enemy. That their love survived and could thrive if he only accepted the hand he was desperately reaching out to him.  
  
Maybe this was the solution. He needed to make love to Varian. To assure him that that pure and unsullied passion still existed between them. That it always had and always would.  
  
  
Varian was dozing lightly when Hugo approached him. He slept a lot lately. Since he'd started losing the motivation to read, his only form of entertainment, there wasn't much else to do. He just couldn't see the point anymore. Before he'd been attempting to pass the time, waiting for the day he'd be released. But he was never getting out of this cage. He'd be stuck in here for the rest of his days, reading and reading until eventually he'd read every book in the entire library. Rather than have that happen he just wouldn't read at all.  
  
Hugo was positively beaming. It was the smug sort of look that he got when he thought he'd figured it all out, when all the puzzle pieces clicked for him and was usually followed by him proceeding to explain to you just how brilliant he was.   
  
When Varian had first met him that look was incredibly annoying. When they got to know each other better it was still annoying but somehow also impossibly endearing. Now, it was terrifying.  
  
"How are we doing today, my lovely little hummingbird?" The blonde preened, kneeling at his side.  
  
"Don't call me that." Varian croaked, lifting his head and kicking away the shredded remains of the curtains he used to warm himself.  
  
Hugo carried on, seemingly unphased. "So I've been thinking. You've been so down lately and I'm pretty sure it's...my fault. I know you're mad at me but I'm worried about you. I don't want you to be so sad and listless all the time." He murmured, reaching through the bars and taking Varian's lax hand. "I think what we need is to inject a little passion into our lives. To connect to one another, truly and intimately." He smiled, lacing their fingers together.   
  
"What are you talking about?" Varian rasped. Inject some passion in his life? Yeah, sure, from inside his tiny cage.  
  
The blonde pulled two vials out of his pocket. One contained the green throat soothing formula, the other was a clear, viscous fluid he recognized immediately.  
  
"...You're screwing with me." Varian wheezed, looking at him in complete disbelief.  
  
Hugo at least had the decency to look a little sheepish as he handed him the green formula.  
  
"No. But I'd like to be." He teased. "It's been so long since we've had fun. I miss touching you."   
  
"You're fucking insane." Varian hissed, downing the vile medicine.  
  
"Oh please don't be cross with me, my sweet little hummingbird. I promise it'll be fun." The blonde cupped his cheek, his green eyes full of near manic adoration. His voice was soft and honeyed and full of sentiment. "If you agree I could let you out for a little while! Then we could mess around like we used to. I still love you Varian. Let me show you thats true. Let me make you feel good, darling." He persuaded.  
  
Varian shuddered. The idea of making himself so vulnerable to the man who had betrayed and imprisoned him made him feel disgusted. But he hadn't been out of this damn cage in months. Hugo's words, even if they were lies, were so so enticing and he couldn't deny that he was tempted by the prospect of forgetting everything and just feeling good for once. He knew he'd regret this. He regretted it the moment he nodded but he agreed nonetheless. Hugo smiled at him, fishing the golden key out of his pocket and slipping it into the lock. With a single deft turn the door was open. The opening was small, the cage meant for something much tinier than him so Hugo had to help him crawl through. His instinct told him to stand but his legs failed him as he tried to pull them under him, weak and useless. Varian realized he hadn't stood up in months. Hugo caught him as he slipped back onto his knees. "Easy there. Don't try to stand." he murmured, rubbing his arms soothingly. "I know it's cramped in there. I'm sorry. None of the rooms in the library lock. I checked. Maybe I can sweet talk Donella into letting me get you something bigger?"   
  
The gentleness of his touch wasn't enough to disguise the lunacy of his words. This man was insane. He had completely and utterly lost his mind and Varian was about to have sex with him. He began to tremble as Hugo pulled at the buttons of his vest, slipping his shirt off of his shoulders. "Oh don't shiver so, my little hummingbird." Hugo murmured, pressing a kiss to his neck. "I'll make you feel good. I promise."  
  
He should shove him off. Tell him he doesn't want this. But he doesn't. Instead Varian allowed Hugo to lay him down on the cold stone floor, hitch up his hips and pull his trousers off. He laid naked and exposed, shaking even more as Hugo's hands begin to run up and down his body. His touch was slow and deliberate like it always had been and yet it felt utterly alien to Varian now. "Your skin is so soft." The blonde above him whispered. "I can't get enough of you. Fuck I've missed this so much!"  
  
Varians breath hitched as the blondes fingers rubbed tender circles around a nipple, his other hand massaging his inner thigh. It felt good but it was like being touched by a stranger. He didn't know the man above him anymore and he was scared. Suddenly Hugo's lips pressed against his, silencing the yelp of surprise that had risen up in his throat. Both of their lips were dry and cracked but the kiss was warm and their lips fit together as perfectly as they always had. He could feel Hugo's tongue licking at the seam of his lips, asking for entrance. Varian relented, parting his lips and letting him in. The kiss quickly turned wet and sloppy as Hugo tangled their tongues together, teasing the wet muscle into his mouth and sucking on it lightly. Varian tried to suppress the whimper that bubbled out of his throat, the pang of arousal in his chest, but then Hugo weaved his hand into his hair, cupped the back of head and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.   
  
Varian whined. No matter how much his mind was against it he could feel himself hardening. The way Hugo smirked against his lips told him that he could feel it too. The blonde ground down against him causing Varian to squeak. Hugo pulled away at last, panting heavily. "God I missed kissing you." He whispered, thumbing a bit of saliva from Varians chin. Hugo reached behind him and began undoing the clasps of his armor. He pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it aside. Hugo's hand wrapped around Varians cock and he was ashamed to feel himself bucking up into his palm. "Feels like you missed me too." he teased, stroking him lightly. Varian bit his lip hard,trying to muffle the cries that threatened to erupt from him. The blondes fingers were warm and knew just where to touch to drive him crazy. A calloused thumb gently massaged the underside of his head and a whimper leapt out of him. Varian bit down on his hand, terribly embarrassed. Hugo gently tugged the hand from between his lips and pinned it above his head. "Don't muffle yourself. I wanna hear my sweet little hummingbird sing." He dipped his head and tongued at his slit.  
  
Varian whimpered, unable to stop himself arching up towards the wet heat. He could feel the curl of the blondes lips against his base as he mouthed at his cock. "You don't have to be embarrassed Varian." He chuckled. "With a body like yours? There's nothing to be shy about." Hugo took the head into his mouth, suckling at it teasingly and laving his tongue lazily over it. Varian tossed his head back with a loud cry, a surge of need running through his body. How long had it been since he'd gotten off? How long had it been since he'd felt this good? Hugo had begun to bob up and down on his dick, hollowing his cheeks and sucking him deep into his warm, wet throat.   
  
  
Varian was trembling again, this time from arousal instead of unease. His body had surrendered long ago but his mind was still in conflict. Hugo was a lot of things to him but first and foremost he was his jailer. And yet here he was. Just... _surrendering_ to him. _Why?_ What was wrong with him? Suddenly a warm hand was brushing the hair away from his sweaty forehead. Varian was unsure when he'd closed his eyes but he opened them to see Hugo's green ones staring back at him. "Shhhh." He soothed. "I can hear the cogs turning from here. Don't think. Just _feel._ "   
  
Varian could feel his mind fogging over as the blonde took him back into his mouth. He didn't want to think. Thinking was all he did anymore and all it did was exhaust him, send him in circles and drive him further into the encroaching apathy that came with being trapped with no escape. He didn't want to think right now. He just wanted to feel good. He wanted to feel _something.  
  
_Hugo began to pick up the pace, bobbing at nice rhythm and massaging the underside with his tongue. Varian could feel himself arching up again, chasing the tantalizing heat of the blondes mouth. When Hugo's firm hands gripped his hips Varian expected him to hold them down and prevent him from bucking but instead he drew them upwards, burying his cock to the hilt in the blondes throat and encouraging him to fuck into his mouth. Varian swore to the ceiling, not hesitating to take him up on his provocative offer. He thrust up into Hugo's willing throat, the blonde's pleased groans sending delicious vibrations down his dick. He didn't bother to go easy on him. He fucked viciously into his throat, a more vindictive part of him hoping he'd leave him just as hoarse and sore as he had felt. The idea appealed to a much darker part of his personality, one that he knew could be dangerous if not controlled. Hugo guided one of Varian's hands to his hair. The dark haired boy quickly grabbed a handful and tugged, drawing a moan from the blonde. He was so close. It had been so long! With one more violent thrust Varian came, fucking his cum down Hugo's throat. The blonde swallowed gratefully, the muscles in his throat flexing and undulating as he gulped down his seed.   
  
Hugo let his flaccid member slip from his mouth and licked his lips. His voice was just bit coarser as he murmured "You always did like to play rough." Varian couldn't help but be a little smug about that. The blonde moved further down his body, nudging his legs open and fitting himself between them. He shucked off his pants letting his cock spring free, precum dripping from the tip and running down his long, smooth length. He gripped himself, giving a few quick strokes to take the edge off. "You see what you do to me, Varian? See how fucking hard you make me? How badly I wanna be inside you?" He growled.   
  
Varian shivered, letting his legs fall open just a bit wider. _Hurry please. I wanna forget. I just wanna feel good._   
  
Hugo bit the cork off of the vial and poured a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. He spread the stuff liberally onto Varian's tight hole. "It's been a while. I imagine you've gotten pretty snug down here." The blonde purred over his ear, sending another shiver through Varian. "Don't worry. I'll take my time and stretch you out real nicely." he crooned, pressing a finger gently into him. _  
_  
Varian hissed through his teeth. The stretch burned, his muscles tight and out of practice. His inner walls squeezed down on the intruding appendage, trying to force it out. "Relax, hummingbird. Breathe."  
  
Varian took in a shaky breath, doing his best to relax his muscles. He pressed his thumb into his palm and grit his teeth as Hugo tenderly flexed the finger inside him, attempting to loosen him up. "I know it must be uncomfortable after so long. Just try and bear with me for a minute. It's not unbearable, is it?" The blonde inquired.  
  
"N-no..." Varian muttered. _Hurry up, just hurry up! Just get in me so this can be over! Just make me feel good already!  
  
_"Do you think I could put another finger in?"   
  
Varian nodded and did his best not to tense up as the second finger entered him. Hugo scissored them inside him to ease the clenching muscles while carefully prodding around in search of that special little bundle of nerves that would drive him wild. Varian began to relax, the blondes fingers soothing the tension in his inner walls. Hugo curled his fingers and Varian had to bite back a yelp. Hugo smirked and curled them again, teasing that sensitive spot, alternating between fleeting touches and harsh presses. Varian writhed, warm tingles running up and down his body. He was hard again, pleasure pooling in the pit of his stomach and winding him into a knot that felt like it could snap at any moment. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd come undone from a little teasing.   
  
Hugo pulled his fingers out of him, snatching him from the edge. Varian attempted to muffle the disappointed whine rising in his throat but the blonde's expression told him he had failed. "Aw don't worry, darling. I've got something much better for you." He rumbled, pulling his legs up around his hips and aligning himself with his hole.  
  
Varian lay back as Hugo pushed into him, whimpering as the blonde filled him up, pressed deep inside of him and lit his nerve endings aflame. The blonde let out a shuddering breath above him, gripping hard onto his thighs. "Fffuck your tight!" He hissed. "You feel so good, Varian. God I love you!"   
  
Not know what else to do with his hands, Varian clawed at Hugos back as he began to rock slowly into him, his pace gradually increasing as their patience waned. Varian wailed into the musty library air, feeling the blondes hard length drag over his prostate with each thrust. Hugo quickly stopped restraining himself, pounding vigorously into the lush, sun-kissed body of the boy beneath him.  
  
  
Varian panted, the heat of their bodies was nearly overwhelming and it only added to the fog clouding his mind over. He was in heaven, He was high above the clouds far away from that tiny, tiny cage. He couldn't think about anything but the feeling of Hugo inside him and the heat and the pleasure. He bore down the blondes cock, squeezing every bit of sensation he could from every pump, desperate to make this last. Hugo reached between them, fisting his leaking cock. "You close, Love? Me too." he groaned, speeding his thrusts even further. Varian screamed, alternating between fucking himself back onto Hugo's cock and arching into his hand, shameless in his wanton need.  
  
"Cum for me, hummingbird." Hugo commanded.   
  
Varian shuddered and obeyed. His vision went white, searing hot waves of pleasure rocked his body as he came with a loud cry, long ropes of cum spurting from his cock and across his and Hugo's chests. It was bliss. Utter bliss.  
  
"Fuck you're so beautiful when you cum! And you always get so tight around me! I'm so close, hummingbird! Nearly there!" The blonde hissed above him.  
  
Varian had barely regained his breath when he felt Hugo filling him. He gasped as the blondes hot seed poured into him. Hugo panted, his arms trembling as he struggled to hold himself up and not crush Varian. As they both caught their breath Hugo pressed small chaste kisses to his parted lips, not wanting the moment to end. Hugo reluctantly pulled out, rolling onto his side beside Varian. As the heat and intensity of the moment faded the fog was beginning to clear. The blonde cupped his cheek and turned his face to look at him. Hugos eyes were full of love and devotion, his smile kind, he would always look at him like this when they were intimate. It should have been familiar, comforting. But he barely recognized this person.  
  
This was not the sweet, affable man who'd made love to him so long ago. He would never be again. He was a stranger to him now. And Varian had just let this stranger have his way with him. He turned away from the blonde in shame, covering his face as tears stung at his eyes. Hugo put a hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. "Varian? Varian, whats the matter? Tell me what's wrong, hummingbird."   
  
He felt used. Dirty. He had been so desperate to feel good that he hadn't cared who the man next to him really was anymore or who he'd become, he had just wanted to be fucked.   
  
He was such a whore.  
  
Varian was shaking, sobbing quietly into his hands.   
  
Hugo sat him up, pulling him into his arms. "Why're you crying? Hummingbird, please tell me what's wrong! Did I hurt you?"  
  
Varian shook his head. It hadn't hurt. That wasn't the problem.  
  
He couldn't even be mad at him because he'd let him do it. He was the one who'd said yes to this. He'd let a man who was practically a stranger to him fuck him. He was disgusting. He was a slut. The cum leaking out of him and down his leg was more than proof enough. He was nothing but a filthy whore.   
  
The blonde coaxed the sobbing boy to rest his head on his chest. He ran his fingers through Varians hair, whispering words of comfort to him as he rocked slowly back and forth. "Shhhh. It's alright, Varian. It's ok. I've got you. I'm so sorry if I hurt you. Please tell me what I did so I can make it better."  
  
Varian shook his head again. He couldn't tell Hugo anything because this was _his_ fault. And he was pathetically leaning on his captor for comfort.   
  
"Please don't cry, my sweet little hummingbird. I can't stand to see you like this! I'd do anything to make you smile again." Hugo murmured.   
  
Varian had no doubt he meant those words. It'd be endearing if it wasn't so frightening. Overwhelmed, Varian forced himself not to think anymore, burying his face in Hugo's chest as he continued to cry.  
  
"There, there little hummingbird. I've got you. Don't cry." Hugo comforted.  
  
Eventually Varian began to calm as Hugo rocked him. His mind felt foggy again but in a different way now, blurry and numb as opposed to far away from it all. Hugo thumbed away a tear, cupping his cheek with a small smile.  
  
"Better now?" He asked. Varian just sighed dejectedly, reaching for his clothes.  
  
Hugo helped him dress, pulling his shirt and vest over his shoulders, then dressing himself. Varian avoided his eyes the entire time. When he did dare to raise his eyes he found that the blonde wasn't looking at him anymore. He was looking at the cage behind him. Fear surged through the dark haired boy. He couldn't run. He couldn't even stand! He grabbed Hugo's arm.  
  
"P-Please! Please don't put me back in there! Hugo I'm begging you!" Varian pleaded.   
  
Hugo tensed, his grip on Varians shoulders increasing. He gaze flitted back and forth between Varian and the cage. He could sense his hesitation.  
  
"Don't you trust me?" The dark haired boy pleaded.  
  
Hugo's face fell, his grip tightening further.. "...I'm sorry, Varian."   
  
The blonde pushed him backwards, forcing him towards the cage.   
  
"Hugo STOP! DON'T PLEASE! DON'T PUT ME BACK IN THERE!"  
Varian fought viciously with him, clawing and scratching and punching but it was no use. Hugo violently shoved him through the small opening and back into the cage, slamming the door before Varian could force it open again and locking it shut.  
  
"HUGO I'M BEGGING YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! PLEASE! PLEASE! YOU SAID YOU'D DO ANYTHING!" Varian wailed, his screams straining his healing throat.  
  
Hugo looked away, his face downcast. "I'm sorry, hummingbird. But no. I _don't_ trust you."


	16. A Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I updated but here you go!

Everything went downhill after that. Despite his recovery Varian stopped speaking entirely, withdrawing completely into himself. He barely ate, he drank very little and he wept nearly constantly. Hugo would stay by his side for hours attempting to comfort him but he could not be consoled in that state and would react aggressively towards any attempt to soothe him. He denied food and drink, he smacked the blondes hands away from his, he would even become violent if he was upset enough. Hugo had to rebind his hands to stop him from causing harm to both him and himself. After days of attempting to soothe him Hugo lost his temper with the boy, shouting at him to tell him what he had done wrong instead of squealing like a fussy infant, demanding to know what he had done to hurt him. Still Varian did not speak, only lashing out more. In his frustration Hugo left him to stew in his anger.   
  
Donella rarely allowed them to leave the library but she didn't stop him from storming out so he didn't bother to ask. If he had to stand the stuffy air of the building a moment longer he'd tear the whole place down. He walked for a while, hoping to clear his head. He knew he shouldn't have snapped at Varian like that but he didn't know what the boy expected of him! He'd tried everything to calm him and nothing had worked. And if he refused to tell him what he had done wrong then how was he supposed to make it better? The blonde angrily kicked stone, throwing up dust along the dirt path. He technically wasn't supposed to wander this far but he was far from caring. He continued to walk, not really paying attention to where he was going, lost in his own thoughts. After a few minutes passed Hugo was surprised to find he wasn't alone on the road. Two young girls carrying a small brown bag were walking towards him. He was beginning to wonder just how far he was from the library when the younger of the two, a red headed girl, came up to him and opened the bag. "Would you like to buy some jewelry me and my sister made?" she chirped.   
  
The bag was indeed filled with several homemade bracelets, necklaces and rings. Laying at the top of the pile was a bracelet made of shiny blue stones, polished to a mirror shine. It would be the perfect gift for his little hummingbird. Hugo smiled and played along, talking to the older of the two and asking to see their wares. It was all too easy to slip the bracelet into his sleeve. Of course they didn't notice it was missing and they went on their way none the wiser.  
  
Hugo waited until later that night to give it to Varian, wanting to give him some time to simmer down before they talked again. The dark haired boy was curled up, pressed against the back of the cage when he found him.   
"Hey there hummingbird. I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. I was just frustrated." The blonde murmured. Varian didn't respond, keeping his face turned away from him.   
  
"I got you a little gift. To cheer you up." Hugo smiled, pulling out the bracelet and showing it off to Varian. "What do you think? It's just your color don't think?" The bracelet practically glittered in the light. Varian shot him a suspicious glare.  
  
"Oh don't look at me like that. They won't miss it." Hugo dismissed. "Do you like it? I saw it and I immediately thought of you."  
  
Still no response.  
  
Hugo frowned. "Wear it for me, won't you? It'd look just perfect on you!" He insisted, reaching to grab Varians wrist through the bars. Varian jerked his arm away, scowling furiously at the blonde. Hugo huffed, stuffing the bracelet into his pocket. "Fine. Serves me right for caring I guess. But maybe you should remember not to bite the hand that feeds " He stood up and left without another word.


	17. Update: This Fic Isn't Dead

Hey guys. Just wanted to let you know that this fic isn't dead. I know I haven't updated in a while, I'm just busy with other projects and inspiration is a fickle bitch. I intend to see this work all the way to the end so don't worry.

Kind regards  
The Author


	18. Breaking Point

Varian only grew more distant and listless by the day and Hugo was becoming more and more frustrated with his defiance. It was as if he didn't _want_ to be happy anymore. The blonde considered giving him what he so clearly wanted and leaving him alone for a few days but then he remembered how that had gone before. It seemed like nothing would appease him. Donella had noticed how distracted he'd gotten lately but instead of instructing him to sort things out she'd just shoo him away to prevent him from messing up her work. She had become even more protective of her research, snapping at Hugo if he got too close to her notes. The small tidbits he'd been able to sneak a glance at seemed to have something to do with the Demanitus Device. The blonde could only theorize so much based on the little he saw.  
  
As Hugo brought Varian food later that day he noticed the boy seemed much calmer than he had been in the last few weeks. His bruised, calloused hands that even bound had scrabbled desperately against the bars and floor of the cage, now rested placidly in his lap. Hugo sat next to him, placing the food in front of him. "Are you feeling any better today, hummingbird? You don't seem as restless as you were yesterday." The blonde asked him.  
  
Varian shrugged his shoulders tiredly, paying no attention the food. Hugo pulled an apple out of his pocket and took a bite.   
  
"Well if you plan to keep this up then I won't need to bind your hands anymore." He remarked.   
  
Varian's dull eyes lit up for a moment and he pushed his bound wrists towards Hugo entreatingly. The blonde considered him with skepticism. "Hmm. I don't know. You've been awfully disobedient lately." He scolded.   
  
"Please..." the boy whispered in a small voice. Hugo almost jumped, dropping the apple in surprise. It was the first time Varian had spoken in weeks. His wrists were pressed against the bars, his eyes pleading. Hugo sighed. Even if he was angry, his hummingbirds happiness was the most important thing to him. "Alright then. But I'm only letting you off easy because of those damn puppy dog eyes." He grumbled, slipping a hand between the bars to untie his wrists.   
  
The rope slid to the floor of the cage. Once Varians hands were free the dark haired boy reached out to cup the blondes cheek, caressing it seductively. Hugo startled, almost pulling away in his shock. Where had this come from? The blonde couldn't help but lean into his touch, hungry for more. Varians hand left his face and trailed alluringly down the blondes chest to his hip, coaxing him closer. The dark haired boy pressed himself against the cage as if desperate to reach him. Gladly playing along, Hugo leaned forward to kiss him.  
  
Suddenly Varians other hand shot out and grabbed him through the bars. He pulled him flush up against the cage, pawing desperately for his pocket, trying to reach the key. Hugo drew back in shock and anger, shoving Varian back. The blonde was furious. He couldn't believe that his hummingbird had tried to deceive him!  
  
"FINE!" Hugo yelled, impulsively fishing out the golden key. "You want out so badly?! I'll let you out!"   
  
Hugo jammed the key into the lock, yanked the door open and hauled Varian out. The boy tumbled onto the cold stone floor with a pained yelp. Varian attempted to crawl away, dragging his useless legs behind him. Blinded by his anger, Hugo grabbed his shoulder, threw the boy onto his back and straddled his chest.  
  
"I-I'M SORRY!"   
  
Varians trembling voice broke him out of his fury. It was only then that he truly saw the boys terrified eyes. He was shaking like a leaf, pleading with him. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll never do it again! I'll be good I promise! P-please don't hurt me!" he begged, covering his face defensively. "Forgive me, please!"  
  
Hugo felt a pit in his stomach when he realized what his anger had almost led him to do. What would he have done if Varian hadn't stopped him? Would he have struck him? Or something worse? He sunk back on his knees. He felt sick. Had he really almost raised a hand to Varian? "Oh good God, what...what did I do?! Oh my sweet hummingbird I'm so sorry! I was just so furious! No. No thats no excuse! I could've struck you! Oh Varian can you ever forgive me?!" He cried, collapsing onto the boys chest and sobbing with guilt and shame.  
  
Varian was frozen beneath him, still motionless with uncertainty. With fear?  
  
Hugo sat up, pulling Varian into a sitting position along with him. "No. I shouldn't ask your forgiveness if I haven't done anything to show you I've earned it. I lashed out at you in anger and I'm so so sorry. I can only hope you'll find it in your heart to not despise me." He murmured, taking Varians face in his hands and pulling him into a gentle kiss.   
  
  
As the shock of the moment faded away and Hugo's words and actions began to truly sink in Varian felt tears rim his eyes. He hated it. He had spent so long crying that by rights he should have no more tears left in him! He didn't want to cry anymore! He didn't want to cry over _Hugo_ anymore! And yet the blonde kept finding new ways of getting under his skin, of hitting him right where it hurt the most, of toying with his heart. Varian gave up, letting the tears flow down his cheeks, all fight leaving him. This was his life now. He was never going to escape this place. He'd spend the rest of his life as the plaything of the mentally unstable shell of a man he'd once loved.   
  
Sensing his trembling, Hugo pulled away and his expression darkened even further. "Please don't cry! I hate to see you cry! That's why I've been so frustrated with you these past few days! I only want to make you happy and I've been unable to! That feels so horrible, hummingbird!" He cried, thumbing away his tears.  
  
Varian didn't know what to think anymore. He was just tired of struggling in vain against a hopeless situation. All it brought him was more misery. Maybe he should just lie back and let the current take him? It would probably be easier that way. Varian leaned forward and pressed his lips to Hugos. The blondes misty eyes widened, pulling back. "...Varian?" He murmured, bewildered.   
  
The dark haired boy began pulling at the buttons of his vest. "I'm... sorry I lied to you. L-let me make it up." he whispered, wrapping his arms around the blondes neck.  
  
"You don't have to-"  
  
"I want to." Varian insisted. And it wasn't a lie. He wanted to feel that high again, that feeling of drifting far away from everything that had caused him pain. He wanted to flow with the current instead of fighting against it. He wanted that heady fog that had made all of his problems seem so small. He didn't care if it made him a whore. If that's what it took for him to feel happy, to feel good anymore, then he'd be a whore. Hugo allowed Varian to push him over, straddling his hips as he slipped his vest down his shoulders and started on the buttons to his shirt. He ground down against Hugo, the blondes hands coming up to grip his hips and guide his movements. Varian pulled his shirt off, tossing it away as his movements grew more frenzied.   
  
  
Soon they were naked, Varian riding his cock, his head thrown back as he panted and squealed. The hands pressed firmly onto Hugos chest weren't just there to support Varian as rode him, they were to keep the blonde down. The dark haired boy had refused to let Hugo take control or change their position. All he was allowed to do was lay there and let Varian take his pleasure from him.  
  
"You're so beautiful." Hugo breathed, reaching up to brush the boys soft dark bangs out of his face. The young man above him was more than just a hummingbird, he was an angel. The blonde could practically see the wings unfurling from his back as he bounced on his lap. "You feel so good." He groaned, letting his head fall back on the stone floor. Varian bit his lip, whimpering as he picked up the pace. His weak legs were burning with the effort of lifting him but he didn't slow. He rocked up and down, rotating his hips in little circles, trying to extract all of the pleasure he could from the experience. Hugo's cock reached deep inside of him, hitting all of his most sensitive spots. Plus this position made his cock give a long, languid drag across his prostate with every thrust. Varian panted as it grew harder and harder to keep himself upright, his rhythm beginning to falter. Hugo took hold of his hips again, attempting to support him but he could only help so much in his current position. Finally Varians legs gave out and he collapsed onto Hugo's chest. The blonde chuckled heatedly. "Tired? ...That's ok. I've got you."  
  
Varians hands pressed firmly down on his chest again. "S-stay..." He murmured.  
  
"Don't worry." He assured. "I'm staying right here. Just relax and enjoy yourself ok?" Hugo wrapped his arms around Varian and held him to his chest, thrusting up into him. Varian moaned into his chest, panting and sweating, unable to do anything except lay there and let Hugo fuck him. His pace was sluggish, the warmth of their breath and their combined body heat stewing away any sense of urgency and replacing it with a slow, lazy fuck. They languished in this sensation for what felt like hours, the place where building pleasure rested just on the verge of tipping over the edge into completion. When he finally did cum, when Hugo released inside of him, splashing warmly against his inner walls and pushing him to climax, his orgasm shook his whole body. His vision went white and he felt as though a star had supernovaed inside of him, the white hot energy it left behind drooling out of his dick.  
  
Varian lay on Hugos chest as they panted and caught their breath. This time the fog didn't clear away so quickly. Varian basked in the afterglow as Hugo gently stroked his hair, the soft rise and fall of his chest lulling him even further into giving into the temptation of sleep. He felt...calm. Truly calm for the first time in so long. Varian closed his eyes and let the feeling of peace wash over him. As he drifted off to sleep he vaguely felt Hugo pick him up and place him back into the cage but he realized, for the moment at least, he didn't really care.   
  



	19. Officially on Hiatus

Sorry its been silent for so long guys. I've really been struggling with motivation to write or to do much of anything lately. I'm working on it though and I hope to be back to my normal self soon and when I am I hope that I can pick this fic up again because I still do want to finish it. I'm just...really not up for writing angst with everything that's been going on. Thanks for your patience and understanding.

Sincerely, The Author


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